A Beaver Meets the Prince
by Original Dinner Plate
Summary: A young Pop Star is transported to the Woodland Realm where he finally meets his match and learns a valuable lesson.


Justin walked out of the L.A club escorted by his bodyguards. It was like any other night out and all the same sights met him, boring him as usual and doing nothing to ease his wild heart.

He was young, he was fresh and he had swag like no other. Even Snoop and Usher were not as fresh and fly as he was, but he was bummed. Life as a privileged pop star was not easy, it got old and he'd felt for a long while now that he needed adventure. Something new, something tight. Because after all, YOLO.

A girl with long red hair approached, wearing a baseball cap and jean jacket that had a green leaf patch on the right shoulder. His protective bodyguards continued to flank him like the precious cargo that he was. Their eyes met and she stopped in front of him. Ah, another fan, he thought smugly to himself.

"Listen, babe, I don't sign for fans when I'm out, aight?" Where was his hummer and driver to take him away from tiresome situations like this?

"No thanks," was her cool reply before continuing past him as if he was nothing.

This would not stand.

"Hey, you stupid cow! Don't you know who I am?!" Justin shouted. Hector, his newest bodyguard shifted nervously in front of their young charge. The other guards looked at each other. "Not again…" one muttered under his breath.

"I don't trouble myself with the likes of you, scum, and it would be wise to watch that foul tongue of yours before someone cuts it off!"

"What—what did you just say to me?" Justin could feel his ire began to rise. Before the situation could escalate further an old man with a long beard appeared from an alley by the club. He was wearing a dark grey polo with a silver thread scarf stylishly wrapped around his neck and under his beard while wearing light chinos and holding an elegant wooden staff. On his feet were dark suede Buckinghams that matched quite well with his cool club attire. Justin was somewhat impressed by this.

"Tauriel," the old man warned.

"Hey grandpa," taunted the young pop sensation slash teen heartthrob. "Do you want some of this?! Do you want some of this, HUH?!"

"Sorry, Gandalf. This child here blocked my way and then in turn insulted me," explained the young woman with a sigh.

"I see," said the old man called Gandalf, observing the strange child before them with a sharp gaze.

Suddenly Justin threw his head back and then forward violently, launching a spit ball at Gandalf. Somehow, by a miraculous intervention unknown to Justin, it missed its intended target and was diverted, landing on the pavement with an audible splat. Justin stared on with disappointment. He'd always had good aim up until now.

The old man's eyes lit with a dark fire that made Justin almost stand back in fear and his guards shift even more nervously than before. "Mr. Bieber, we should be going now…" said one of his guards.

"You've done it now, boy," said Gandalf in a dangerous tone, raising his staff.

"Gandalf—" said the young woman called Tauriel in a quiet voice, whose ear peeked out from under the cap and looked— pointed? Dafuq?

Suddenly a bright light shot from the staff and went straight towards Justin who screamed in terror. The light engulfed him and the last thing he saw before leaving the earth as he knew it was his bodyguards running for their lives. His body spun wildly out of control through the air and he could see nothing but white light and flashes of different rainbow tinged images that he did not recognize.

Then he landed and it was no longer light around him but a grim darkness and tall, ancient trees that seemed to moan in disapproval and creak at his arrival. It was as if his very presence in such a world violated its sanctity, even in the poisoned woods.

"Yo," he whimpered and in a split second hundreds of arrows and swords appeared pointing at him. He looked up and saw many strange faces, all with long hair, familiar pointy ears and so-last-season green cloaks. "Help," Justin tried again, he was certain he'd broken his $500,000 butt bone. He'd have to cancel his tour again.

"Who are you? Speak quickly," commanded a smooth voice.

"I am Justin Bieber, please call the police, call the president, call my guards. I've been assaulted by an old man in a polo with a weird cane."

"Who? Beaver?" Several had said this in unison and Justin's face turned dark and monstrous. "You heard me, you idiots! I am Justin Bieber!" Justin Bieber hissed, recovering enough to sit up and puff up his shoulders, his entire neck disappearing under his chin while giving them all a righteous scowl. He resembled an angry muskrat robbed of its delicious snail dinner.

"You are in the Kingdom of the Woodland Realm. What is your business here?"

"Who in the Jimmy Neutron stratosphere are you? I want my guards!"

"If you had guards, boy, they are long gone now," said a man with long blonde hair. Justin spit at his boot in response. The blonde man clenched his jaw and gazed down at the much younger human child with a seething stare. Another spoke, "You dare spit on the Prince's shoe? Legolas, allow me to execute this swine before he causes further offense!"

"No, I will handle this human cretin who dared trespass on our lands," said Legolas darkly, grabbing Justin by his collar who squealed and cried under such abuse and batted his hands at his aggressor. Legolas merely looked on with dry amusement as if Justin Beaver, or whatever his name was, were a bug struggling for escape from under his boot.

"Are you afraid?" Legolas asked, a dangerous smirk gracing his fine features.

"Yo….yo momma, b****!"

"My what?"

"You heard me, f*****!"

"What strange words you use….is that ancient Orc speak?"

"I f***** your grandma last night! say WHAT now, cracker!"

Legolas released Justin, cooly stepping back and laughing to himself as the grown infant threw a tantrum before them. The youngster kicked the ground and raised his chest out, throwing his arms arms to and fro while dancing on strange shoes that looked to be too big for him.

"Say WHAT now! Say WHAT now! HUH! You don't know me! I own you, b****!"

"My head aches from the noise he makes," another light haired man said behind Legolas. "He will wake all the forest with his cries and we should leave him here to meet its inhabitants."

"Quiet, Beaver, or you'll be pudding for spiders!" one said.

"Spiders?" squeaked Justin, putting his arms down.

"Yes, big ones," a woman with brown hair said behind him. Justin did not like the way they all looked at him then. What use were guards if they could not even protect him in times like this? He was going to phone his manager later and it wasn't going to be a happy conversation.

Legolas sighed before instructing his comrades, "I grow tired of this encounter. Take him to the cells."

"What?!"

"Perhaps there he will learn to be calm enough before speaking!"

"HahahaHAHAHAHAHa, bruh, you are soooo going to be sorry. I own the L.A.P.D and your a** will be so sued. My lawyer will end you!"

"You dare threaten me?" said Legolas, a shimmering laugh escaping his delicate pink lips.

"I'ma KILL yo—" before he could finish his threat a lightening speed fist flew through the air and connected with Justin Bieber's face. All he heard was a crunch and his nose filled with blood, gushing down and staining his designer skinny jeans. He let out a howl as his vision lined with sparkling stars that seemed to have Legolas' face in them.

Justin fell back to the ground unconscious.


End file.
